Tiny Chubby Hands

"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child, or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only, "I am sorry for your loss." But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to  capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"    - Laura Busch

Jeremy and I lost our third baby three weeks ago today. We are going through so much, and our hearts are so sore right now. We have decided to make some changes in our life, and for now that includes being a little selfish of our time and energy, so we can try and find which way is up again. I'm not sure where to begin with picking up and going on yet. Waiting for those tiny chubby hands is just so hard some days.