Dear Someone:

Dear Pregnancy-

I know. I do. I know you will come to me one day to say Hi. I know it. I would like to ask a favor though. If you are delaying your visit for much longer, PLEASE let it be for a good reason. Please don't let it be because you have been asked by a terrified little spirit in Heaven who is dreading coming to my house to stay. Please don't let it be because you have canceled your trip entirely and flat out refuse to come see me. Please let it be so that I can learn a new trick of parenting so I won't screw those sweet spirits up as bad as I am. Please let it be so that I won't spend our cruise in February puking over the side unable to see the beauties of the ocean. Please let it be something that will be worth not having something I very much desire. Please don't delay too long. (really - if you come soon I'll totally forgive you for not letting me go on the cruise!! cross my heart!!).

Thanks, and hope to see you soon -
the one sending up all those prayers

Dear Maintenance Man-

Hi. We met once when you came to fix my AC last summer. You were great. I gave you water. Remember? Oh great! HI! Okay so I have just one thing...Why would you wait to replace my porch lite until I was finally glad it had burned out, which incidentally is just about the same time I put up all my Halloween Decorations, and lights? I'm not complaining or anything (okay maybe a little) Cause I'm ALL FOR safety, but it kind of kills the spookiness of my porch when it's lit up like noon by the ultra white halogen bulb you put up. Not kidding. It glows like the second coming out there. So maybe you could take ours out and put it down stairs where theirs has burnt out...they don't have their decorations up yet. Just a thought.

THANKS!!
the couple with the glowing, bubbling cauldron

Dear Water:

I was hoping we could talk. See - I'm trying to drink more of you. I hear it's good for me or something. So I'm trying. And I'm doing pretty well. I kill my nalgene every single day!! But just one Q here...Why can't you taste like CokeZero? Don't get me wrong - I like how you taste...but to be honest...CokeZero is better. It just is. Don't be mad. It's life. Sorry. So...I was thinking - If you could just change the tiniest thing (you're taste) then I would stop drinking CokeZero all together!! We could be best friends!! You can even still look like you - I like the clear thing! Anyway - we could hang out all the time...I would drink YOU in the morning on my 40 minute drive to work instead!! YOU would help me not kill people I work with. YOU would be my favorite drink again!!! It's not that much to ask really. Pretty please with Phenylalanine on top??

Kindest regards,
The girl who would rather crack open a CokeZero...sorry

Dear Brand New Sophie Kinsella Book-

I adored reading you!! I Just finished last night! I have been totally hooked to the point of being mad that the plane landed because I had to stop reading! I even tried delaying you because I loved you so much. Not kidding. I would leave you in my car so I couldn't read you during the day, and only at lunch time. Serious love! I was so sad to finish you last night that I cried. Okay it was partly the beautiful ending you had in you, but partly because it's not like I can just keep reading the story. It was over and I knew it was coming. I was so sad. But seriously - the ending was beautiful. I cried for a half an hour. Even after I put you down and closed your clean white cover and repositioned your adorable jacket. I cried. I sobbed in fact. Jeremy had to come over and comfort me. Fact. Thank you. Thank you or being so beautiful!! Thank you for being stocked at wal*art for a reduced price (I starred that out so I wound not be judged). Thank you for making me cry. Needed it.

Love you - Mean it!
The girl who tear stained your pages - sorry bout that.

join in right here- it's therapeutic!!