Autumn & Smiles

Jeremy reminded me of something this morning as I was walking out the door...It's Fall.

I LOVE fall for lots of reasons. Today that reason is the Temperature. Here in Phoenix it's been a SUPER mild year. Of course everyone still complains about the heat though. It's what they do. I hate that part of living here - not the heat - the complaining about it. Now that it's starting to cool off and we're barely hitting triple digits these days (yeah 100 degree highs is cooling off - for reals) people aren't coming into my office all day long gripping about the heat. How oppressive it is. How incessant it is. How much they hate this time of year.

Nope. Not right now. Right now they are laughing and smiling and musing over the nice cool mornings. They are loving the subtle breeze that is floating over the entire city. They are HAPPY that Fall is here!! Which makes me happy.

And I SO need some happy right now. As I've said - I've been battling a bit recently. I'm feeling very burnt out and tired. I'm feeling out of control and overwhelmed. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm anxious about a Dr. appointment I have next week. I am anxious about a lot of things. It's been hard to keep smiling, but the cool weather and happy people are helping.

I can't have those particular negative comments around me the last few days. I'm not strong enough right now to withstand the way it chips away at my spirit - even when it's directed at something like the weather.

Do you ever feel burdened to the point of sorrow? And trying to maintain your solid exterior gets harder and harder every day? And something so small as the pressure of someone else leaning on your shaky strength is enough to cause your shell to crack. To fissure and break. Do you ever long for a smile from someone? Somehow feeling deep down that something small like that might feel like cold water on your lips after a 6 week fast?

I've been told I'm a positive person. I like that description. I try really hard to be that person. It's easier for everyone if we can just laugh instead of cry. And right now I need people around me to smile. I need to lean on someone else for a while. I need those happy comments and loving smiles.

Today, I am grateful for Fall coming to see us down here in AZ. I'm grateful that people here in PX are smiling today. I'm grateful for the break in the heat. I'm grateful for the cool breeze and chippy chirppy birdies outside my door. Today...I'm deeply grateful that someone smiled at me, and laughed with me. Deeply grateful to my Heavenly Father for answering a prayer I almost couldn't speak. Deeply grateful for Fall.