Hello World!

There is this Lady Antebellum song called Hello World. You should probably google it and read the lyrics. It's AWESOME. It's been very important to me recently.

WARNING - @#$% ahead!!!

Things have not been going exactly smoothly. Which is fine I guess. That's why We're all here. To be tested and tried and to show that we will continue to follow our Heavenly Father and trust in his understanding and not our own.

Right?

Yeah, but that's @#$% hard sometimes. Really, really %$#@ hard.

(I'm trying to quit swearing before the end of the year...I figure since I only have 4 more months I should really work on it...So that was me working on it. HA)

Like the last month... or 6 months actually. The last 6 months have tried and tested me more than I ever thought any 6 months of time could. Why could happen in just 6 months that I couldn't handle and take care of and put all back together without breaking a sweat? Seriously! This is what I do people. I fix @#*&. It's true. If *&@% is broken - I fix it. I always have. It's who I was as a child, and who I am now. I can't shake it.

Usually it's okay though, because I've become pretty good at it. Usually. Then there are the times that the &^#@ that is oh so broken is not something I can even begin to piece back together. I don't like these times. Because as out of control as I sometimes seem (those of you who know me IRL understand that) I feel like I pretty much have it together.

Hi. I'm Sarah, and I obsessive.

HI SARAH!!!

I need to rule my life, and I need to feel like I have all my ducks all lined up by height and eye color.

Well the last 6 months those #$%^ ducks have been @#$%-ing all over my plans. It's been irritating. And painful. I won't talk about it here yet (one day maybe), but We have been tried.

I must admit here how poor a follower I am. I have been angry at God. I have been distant from His spirit and love. I have been a recluse from the friends He has sent me to help bear my burdens, and lighten my load. I have been a hypocrite.

Then something AMAZING and WONDERFUL and so PERFECT happened!!! My adorable nephew decided he waned to be Baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Sigh. I love him! I'm so proud of His decision. He's a great kid!!!

He asked Jeremy to be the one to Baptize him. Sigh. It was a very sweet experience for our Family. We left last Thursday night and arrived early Friday morning. (I got to finally meet a Blogger friend for lunch that day - SO FUN!!!! But that is a post in and of itself...of which there will be no pictures because even though my camera was in my purse the whole time - it stayed there. I'm lame like that.)

Friday evening was the Baptism. My adorable older sister had called me the week before and asked how to spell my last name and then, speaking very quickly, said "heyyourgivingatalkatthebaptism.Thanks!Seeyounextweek!Callmewhenyougethere!!" then she hung up on me. I had to text her to find out what I was talking on and for how long. It was funny. That was random.

Anyway!

Getting to see my wonderful Nephew be washed clean of all his sins was a powerful experience for me. I'm very grateful I was able to be there to witness such a special event in his life. No grand visions were given to me that night, and no light shown down. I was simply reminded that I can be happy. My Father in Heaven wants me to be happy. He has given things to me to test me, and to see if I can bear them with grace and come out of them stronger and better prepared to live with Him again. I want that. I want to be with Him again forever!!! And I want to be happy in this life.

I spent several days with my family enjoying their company (we were able to see everyone but one person during our trip), and remembering how to smile again. How to feel like things will be okay again. Our family has been through a lot together, and I fear we face many more difficult times, but we always got through it. We managed to laugh and have water fights in the kitchen, and play baseball in the front yard. We made it through. And so will Jeremy and I. I won't forget what has happened, and I will be stronger in the end for all of it. I will look to my Father to strengthen me and bind all the pieces of my broken heart.

When we got home I felt different. I felt like the windows of my heart have been opened and the sun was shining and a calm breeze was blowing out all the sorrow, and polishing up all the memories I had been locking away in there. I've felt peace and calm. And best of all - I have felt optimism. I haven't felt this so strongly in quite a while. It really does feel GREAT!!! I feel like the Sarah I used to be. It's AWESOME!!

So...Hello World. I am back.